The Awakening (non-sports) - Part 8

Day 10

I’ve yet to completely separate myself from the pity party I held yesterday. There are things that flash and implode to nothing a hundred times in a single blink, and there are others that grow thicker with time and exposure, like a well fed fungus or mold. I’ve clumsily clutched myself to the latter.

As the curator and sole visitor to the museum, mausoleum, called earth, I wonder the streets bored and listless like a child on a forced vacation to the doldrums of adult interests. There is nothing of consequence here, nothing of significance. Tombs and relics slip by, all headstones in a forgotten, yet well kept, graveyard I’ve no interest in mourning.

I’ve stopped bathing, stopped seeking shelter, stopped searching out food, and seriously welled up a near intolerable indifference. I could argue with myself for hours, or could have once done so, debating whether indifference is precluded from being intolerable by nature, but today it’s all for naught.

Anyway, not that there was a direction to my movements before, a method to my madness, but today my steps do not hunger for the next, nor flee the prior. They simply come and go like constellations adorning a blind man’s sky.

I did see something strange, or rather feel it, today. Once again, I find the words to describe it elusive. That being said, future me, I’m sure you won’t let it bother you. If you do, maybe you should have considered this before reading. You’d think you’d know better. I mean, you, we, lived it.

Sorry, what’s a moment to force a smile, but an instance thrived upon, especially in times of desperation.

Back to what I experienced for an odd moment today, it was only a fleeting feeling and probably holds no importance, but with nothing else craving my time, here goes.

It was in the afternoon, and my newly polished mausoleum spoke the absent words of death without the stench of decay as the sun was just growing tired of its perch’s view and stepping down towards it’s next stop, it’s next day, when I noticed a towering Wendy’s sign reaching to poke the cloudless sky, an attempt to puncture the blue ceiling and drown me with its’ oceans.

With a sudden panic, a red glow stole my sight. My head throbbed violently and I buckled down over myself in pain. As soon as the sign was replaced by the nondescript gray of the sidewalk beneath my feet, the feeling passed and the pain left me to genuflect for a moment longer, feeling nothing.

That was it. I made sure not to look back to the sign, and like a giant with a mattress strapped to its back, I fell back with little regard, into my monotone life. Gradually, the butterflies which flicked their wings against the interior of my stomach began to tire and I was once again left with simple melancholy.

Besides the single moment, I have nothing of interest to recant today.

So, until tomorrow, I bid you a good night and sweet dreams.