Sad, Desperate, Angry, Apathetic?

Like most nights, I went into last night's Mavs game with quiet optimism. You know, that subtle hope that this team is better than it's given credit for. That they were the reincarnation of the Rockets on their second title run (another team I watched faithfully, and seemed to endlessly lead me on fruitless chases into disappointment....well, until the playoffs that is). That this team could sneak into the playoffs at something better than the 8th seed to avoid playing the Lakers in the first round, where they could then uncoil the strike they've been storing up all season to "shock the world".

That, like the Rockets, they have developed the habit of playing up to or down to their opponent.

Then came the second highly contested game against a young team with talent, but without most of that talent playing, in the team stolen from Seattle (the team that serves as a not so subtle sirens call that when all teams are for sale, any can be bought).

As a Mavs fan, this season hasn't been easy, beginning with the silence of what promised (honest, the promises came to us from the lips of our own Generic Masochist - isn't that what GM stands for) to be an active and eventful draft day, to the echoed promises of what was sure to be a frantic and rewarding trading deadline, to the current whispers of what could and should be this off-season or the next....and more to the point, to what we're seeing on the court.

Going into the year, we all wondered if Kidd had enough to be a valid contributor and dreamed of what could come back when we finally broke up the true core of the team that choked away the Finals and a Golden State series, and traded Josh Howard (or mini-Damp, as he is often prone to be). The dreams paved the way to a destination where hope wasn't being strangled away from its decaying grip by reality. Hope was as vibrant and gleeful as I was when watching the full-screen version of The Breakup (haven't actually seen it, but supposedly the scene with Anniston walking naked through the apartment includes her visibly topless - don't quote me on that however, as I have not been able to verify it myself, sadly).

Sorry, even the thoughts sidetracked me, but we've found that yes, Kidd can still be a very good player...and as clutch as anyone the Mavs have ever had (which makes you wonder even louder why Avery benched him at the end of that Spurs game). Sadly, we've also found the ineptitude of our front office knows no bounds. How many times must this core (Dirk, Terry, Howard - and whether you admit it or not, that was and is the core. Harris was only beginning to be a part of it, but was still only peripheral) fail before it is tweaked. Apparently, at least once more.

Dirk IS the kind of player a team can be built around, regardless of what countless unappreciative Dallas fans will say. A trip to the Finals alone proves this. Terry is the heart and soul of this team, and honestly, it's going to hurt whenever he does leave. You couldn't ask for a better guy to be a part of "your" team. That leaves Howard. The supposed second best player on this team for years. Yet, also a player that has never done anything when it mattered. The front office's overvaluing of him alone is what is attempting to destroy what was once a golden opportunity.

They say he's a top 20 player in this league, regardless of the fact that I could name at least 50 I'd rather have, and have refused to move him when his value was high. Hopefully we'll find out where his value is this summer, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear the company line cast again - never mind that the lake is dry and the suffocating fish are growing more and more uninterested in what this company has to say (need to check the TV ratings again).

The fact that Dampier is still in the NBA is a direct insult on the league itself. David Stern should be begging to buy out his contract yesterday, personally.

Anyway, I've digressed (another symptom of frustration and anger - it's too easy to pull those chords and want to trace that rail of rant)....then came the storm of the Thunder, and hell came with them. The hell of realizing this team has a very real chance of missing the playoffs. The hell of watching a bunch of millionaires that supposedly love this team and city give about 30% effort for three quarters before realizing they were even playing in a game that counted. The hell of seeing Dirk, Terry and Kidd trying to carry a team that just doesn't seem to care.

Last year we thought this lack of effort was a team giving up on its coach. So, what's the problem this year?

If this team can sneak into (how long has it been put that way - "sneak") the playoffs and avoid the Lakers and Utah, I still think they can put up a good fight, but that sneaking is going to have to come behind a fist. We'll see, and then we'll ultimately see what they do this summer. We are approaching the last chance ride with Dirk, and we print the tickets this summer.